BEHIND THE POEM : DEAR BEST FRIEND

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THOUGHTS OF THE POET

The poem, as you may have noticed, has been written in the format of a letter. This, I thought, was one good way of relating letter and poetry and at the same time addressing something in a more realistic way. This letter to my "best friend" was written as a retort to his actions, showing him the mirror that shows his inner self. Showing him that his vile face is no longer hidden from me.

No. Neither to our friendship,

Nor to our spot-tree.

But to the knife,

That you used to stab me.

Quite a few people have said to me that at the turn of the third stanza they were left stumped by a sudden change in the mood. I say that was not just to thrill the reader, thrill was just an added bonus. The real purpose of the sudden change in the mood of the poem was a metaphorical representation of the gush of emotions I went through when I suddenly found out about this friend of mine and what he had been doing.

Naïve as I was,

I befriended you in every phase.

It is a lie if people say that they never noticed, that their fake friends could possibly be feigning friendship. One notices, then ignores, then notices again but then ignores again. This is being naïve. One forces themselves to disbelieve that someone, in whom you confided every secret, someone with whom you have had more fun, somebody who has entered the level of brotherhood, could be plotting a trap for you and carving precipice to fall down. Despite numerous instances, one still sees through a misted vision. That is being naïve and could possibly be dangerous to oneself in more than just emotional ways.

This friend of mine, who inspired this poem, mocked at my conditions and showed off his expensive possessions (in high school! As absurd and amusing as it may sound!), which he had forced his parents to buy for him, a sick need to feel superior over the others. He blamed everyone else for his failures, humiliated others based on their caste, colour, financial conditions, to hide his insecurity. As dominating as he tried to be, it was always transparent that he used materialistic dialogues to validate himself.

Ran out of lies?

Another feature of people like him is lying to prove their point. Spreading rumours about people to show them down and come out above them.

So here's to burst your bubbles

This line just sums up the poem. You see, my friend tried every possible means to bring me down, humiliate me, destroy my career, back stab me, but at the end of the day I turned out far above. So this poem is a clear statement to burst his bubbles in which he was seeing me as a failure in life (remember that?), working as a servant in his house. As a student of a TIER-1 university of my country, I could very easily say that all his attempts are now in vain. I hope my readers would be able to do the same. Intelligent brains have said

Success is the best revenge.

INSPIRATION

So I became friends with a guy when I was in 6^th grade. Sweet, innocent, helpful, extremely friendly. With time we grew closer friends and shared a lot of secrets, hung out in groups. Despite being a conservative reserved person that I was, I broke quite a few rules that I had set up for myself. In 5 years time, however, things changed. He was always this loud, humiliating person, but he transformed into someone with a sick mentality. One who hated everyone's progress, everyone's success. In front of the others he would act innocent (so much so that after reading the poem a lot of our mutual friends were shocked "He seemed so innocent! How could HE do it!") behind their back he would call them names, make fun of them and mock everything about them so much so that it became overtly annoying.

While I chose to not think that he was doing the same about me in front of the others (which was one of my seriously wrong assumptions), when this was revealed to me a few months ago, when I and another best friend of mine set out to find out where he actually is, I received a jolt! It so happened that he cut all contacts with everyone after the school ended. So one fine festival day in March we did every possible way to find out where he is. After getting vague, amusing and dubious response from his family we logged into my friend's social media account. In the process of our detective work, I checked their chat and that's when his slimy badmouth was revealed. He said things about me that I couldn't have ever imagined. Though I maintained a straight face in front of my friend, on the inside I could actually feel the a sudden roller-coaster of emotions.I heard the song Bad Blood 30 times in a row that day, non-stop. People may call it a trashy pop song, but it was my only solace at that time. That was when I laid the basic framework of this poem.

Like mentioned above, it's not that I never noticed what he had been doing. I got hints of him filling ears of my friends and my teachers against me, but I chose to disbelieve every single time. It was only after this incident that every piece of the puzzle fell into place and showed me his real arrogant, whining, sly, calculating, vamp face.

There is a RAP Verse in the poem, which was a last minute addition to the poem. I'm particularly proud of that part. I had completed writing the poem and was sitting in dining hall , purposely alone, away from the friends, thinking that I had not done anything extraordinary with the poem apart from writing my heart down and choosing a letter format. All of a sudden came a gush of inspiration. I was tearing the omelette when the words "talk that talk behind my back" hit me. And then it just began flowing. I told one of my friends to abuse me and make me angry in order to reflect the emotions in the RAP verse. Every single word of that RAP verse spoke to me in a brighter and deeper way than any stanza in the poem had. The stanzas in the poem are general, the RAP verse is specific. It feels like a direct rant to him. Something that I meant to do (and have done now). The hollow face has no guts to face the reality. But believe me, if he ever reads the poem, I'm sure he will act like "This is all lies. I never did that! U were never so important that I'd talk behind your back" and yet the Google plus chat between him and my friend remains to bother his ego. 

It so happens that despite being a more specific verse, the RAP part turns out to be the favourite of most people who have read the poem. Seems like writing specifically personal stuff helps people relate more.

Ironically, my other best friend (who is by all means a real best friend), who is still very close friends with this person, sent me his Friend suggestion on facebook, exactly 2 days after I had launched this poem.

EARLIER VERSION and EDITING

This poem's basic framework was done back in March 2015 and I kept adding as the ideas swam in. However, quite a few of these lines were removed or changed later on. Here they are to feed your intrigue.

Extra lines:

While poking fun at me

And confirming lack of suspect

You slowly built a road

That could lead to my death.

Here are some examples of free lines/zingers that I had written as they came along:

Look who build their own

And who sucked on their parents' like a parasite.

Why cut enmity so deep

That you could never try and refill it.

So let this be a mnemonic

To remind you of your treachery.

Following are some of the lines that were changed:

You feigned guilty face

Every time you needed a work done

But band-aids don't fix bullet holes

Now hear the rap that has begun

No neither to our friendship

Nor to nostalgic tree

But to the knife 
That you used to stab me.

Thank you so much for being a part of my journey to the completion of my most viewed and talked about poem published on this blog. Thank you for all the acclaim, encouragement and love you have given to the poem. Please continue showering your love.

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